With every movie, television, action figure, cartoon franchise, there are certain ideas and concepts considered "canon." These are the established stories and character traits that define a pop culture item. For example, George Lucas once said that the only true canon for his Star Wars Universe are Episodes I through VI (or self-aggrandizingly referred to as "G-Canon," for George Level Canon). None of the novels, television shows, video games, or fan fiction "officially" count as being part of the story world. Luke never marries Mara Jade after Return of the Jedi, Kyle Katarn doesn't become the new Emperor, and Chewy and Leia don't engage in a tawdry interspecies relationship.
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Caught. |
Like many a boy growing up in the 1980s, G.I. Joe was a formidable influence on my life. But the lack of canon in G.I. Joe is one thing that has always bugged me. Between the Saturday morning cartoon series, the action figure line, the comic books, the ridiculously out of touch animated movie, and the recent abysmal movie... there is no clear continuity. Even worse, these cross-pollinating and criss-crossing storylines all convolute my favorite character - Destro.
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| The most interesting man in cartoons. |
In the cartoonishly Cold War era G.I. Joe universe, the lines of good and bad are clearly drawn. COBRA is hell bent on world domination. G.I. Joe is an elite task force determined to stop them. But one man plays both sides, James McCullen Destro XXIV.
The animated series - being by far the most popular G.I. Joe form - positioned him as Cobra Commander's right hand man and COBRA's weapons supplier. Most of what we know about Destro comes from the cartoon. He was prone to backstabbing and second-guessing Cobra Commander at every opportunity. Nearly every episode he could be heard yelling "FOOLS!" when one of Cobra Commander's hairbrained world take-over schemes inevitably backfired. Sure, it's easy to criticize a mad man's lunatic schemes, but did cartoon Destro have a better plan? Rarely, if ever.
The cartoon paints a very one-dimensional and inaccurate portrait of the steel-faced legend. He exists solely as foil to Cobra Commander, yet without the balls to step up and do anything. Despite the fact that Destro is Scottish, the cartoon gives him a deeply, gravelly, decidedly African-American voice. He seems to be wearing metallic silver face paint rather than a mask. And they also completely fuck up his back story, as depicted in the video below.
The animated series - being by far the most popular G.I. Joe form - positioned him as Cobra Commander's right hand man and COBRA's weapons supplier. Most of what we know about Destro comes from the cartoon. He was prone to backstabbing and second-guessing Cobra Commander at every opportunity. Nearly every episode he could be heard yelling "FOOLS!" when one of Cobra Commander's hairbrained world take-over schemes inevitably backfired. Sure, it's easy to criticize a mad man's lunatic schemes, but did cartoon Destro have a better plan? Rarely, if ever.
The cartoon paints a very one-dimensional and inaccurate portrait of the steel-faced legend. He exists solely as foil to Cobra Commander, yet without the balls to step up and do anything. Despite the fact that Destro is Scottish, the cartoon gives him a deeply, gravelly, decidedly African-American voice. He seems to be wearing metallic silver face paint rather than a mask. And they also completely fuck up his back story, as depicted in the video below.
Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. And wrong. Destro's family was never engaged in cult like supernatural activities. Unfortunately, there are many things the cartoon got wrong attempting for its goofy "good versus evil" plot line. The 2009 movie is even worse, with Christopher Eccleston's Destro seemingly throwing a dart at a board and picking "creating a new world order" for his evil plot. And don't get me started on the nano-mite technology responsible for the movie's version of his mask.
I prefer the mature Marvel comic series (predating the original cartoon by three years), where characters actually died and dark political themes were discussed. In this, Destro is one of the most complex and three-dimensional characters in comic/action figure history. He thrives in the storytelling of a serial comic, where subtle nuances are defined and explored over years.
In the comic, the Destro clan is Scottish royalty with a castle in the Highlands. During the English Civil War, Destro's ancestors were weapons makers, making huge profits off both the Parliamentarians and the Royalists. Until Oliver Cromwell discovered the duplicity. Not wanting to cut himself off from the best weapons maker in Europe, Cromwell forced the leader of the clan to wear a steel mask rather than killing him. Fast forward hundreds of years later, where Destro XXIV has turned the mask of shame into a badge of family pride. He continues the family business with a mercenary weapons company called M.A.R.S. (Military Armaments Research Syndicate).
Over the course of the comics, Destro transforms from mercenary capitalist supplying the well-funded COBRA with high-tech weapons into a lovesick homebody who just wants to spend quality time in his secluded castle. Perhaps it's fatigue from one too many failed assassination attempts or simply mellowing out with age. I would argue Destro was never fully part of COBRA, but an independent businessman who knew a sucker with deep pockets when he saw one. He never had evil intentions in the world domination sense, apart from being an unrepentant capitalist. A man has to earn a living after all.
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| The man that would be Destro. |
In the comic, the Destro clan is Scottish royalty with a castle in the Highlands. During the English Civil War, Destro's ancestors were weapons makers, making huge profits off both the Parliamentarians and the Royalists. Until Oliver Cromwell discovered the duplicity. Not wanting to cut himself off from the best weapons maker in Europe, Cromwell forced the leader of the clan to wear a steel mask rather than killing him. Fast forward hundreds of years later, where Destro XXIV has turned the mask of shame into a badge of family pride. He continues the family business with a mercenary weapons company called M.A.R.S. (Military Armaments Research Syndicate).
Over the course of the comics, Destro transforms from mercenary capitalist supplying the well-funded COBRA with high-tech weapons into a lovesick homebody who just wants to spend quality time in his secluded castle. Perhaps it's fatigue from one too many failed assassination attempts or simply mellowing out with age. I would argue Destro was never fully part of COBRA, but an independent businessman who knew a sucker with deep pockets when he saw one. He never had evil intentions in the world domination sense, apart from being an unrepentant capitalist. A man has to earn a living after all.
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| Do you know how much steel polish costs per year? |
Despite his lust for profits, Destro had a strong sense of honor and personal moral code. He stopped Cobra Commander's son from killing the head Snake because he couldn't bare to see a family torn apart. In a flashback episode, a young Destro saves G.I. Joe hero Snake-Eyes from false murder accusations in Vietnam. He even sided with the G.I. Joe team after a secret Pentagon cabal tried to frame the heroes for a failed assault on Cobra Island. Turns out Destro sold his weapons to the Pentagon and exposed the U.S. government for its hypocrisy... after he had taken their money of course. The world was not so black and white.
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| Lovers: Destro and the Baroness |
Cobra Commander needed Destro more than vice versa, yet he never fully trusted the man in the metal mask. Maybe it was because Destro had long-loved and long-got-his-schwerve-on with the Commander's second in command, the Baroness. Perhaps if the Baroness had NOT been so involved with COBRA, Destro would have lived out an understated life as a Lord of War. But his obsessive love for the emotionally disturbed Baroness forced his hand.
Towards the end of the Marvel comic line, it's revealed that Baroness's long obsession with killing Snake Eyes is rooted in her false belief that he killed her brother in Vietnam. She comes to the realization that her whole terrorist life is a lie and attempts suicide by leaping out of a helicopter, only to be saved by Storm Shadow. Recuperating later and reflecting on her life, Baroness and Destro talk in a hotel room. Destro is willing to give up everything - his weapons business, his family mask, his whole life - to be with Baroness. He even removes his mask, dropping it to the floor with a clunk to reveal his face.
Destro and Baroness - now going by their given names James and Anastasia - flee to Destro's secret hideout in Trans-Carpathia to live the quiet life. Not quite the life of the cartoon's sadistic corporate madman. Of course, going straight is never easy. The couple had to survive more assassination attempts, Cobra Commander's hypnotic trance on Baroness, and the emergence of Destro's duplicitous son Alexander.
Towards the end of the Marvel comic line, it's revealed that Baroness's long obsession with killing Snake Eyes is rooted in her false belief that he killed her brother in Vietnam. She comes to the realization that her whole terrorist life is a lie and attempts suicide by leaping out of a helicopter, only to be saved by Storm Shadow. Recuperating later and reflecting on her life, Baroness and Destro talk in a hotel room. Destro is willing to give up everything - his weapons business, his family mask, his whole life - to be with Baroness. He even removes his mask, dropping it to the floor with a clunk to reveal his face.
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| Handsome devil. |
In the fictional comic world, Destro's whereabouts are currently unknown. But I like to think he's out there somewhere, taking Baroness out to fancy dinners and secretly dreaming up new weapon technology.
It's a shame the 2009 movie was such a departure from the classic Joe storylines. For most, G.I. Joe is known for comical public service announcements. Still, the cartoon series rightly deserve its place in pop culture lore. But there should be a place for more mature re-tellings of the characters that defined so many 80s baby's childhoods. Can't the stories advance into present times without becoming so ridiculously out of touch with the source material? Yes the characters were created to sell toys, but it's still real to me dammit!
It's a shame the 2009 movie was such a departure from the classic Joe storylines. For most, G.I. Joe is known for comical public service announcements. Still, the cartoon series rightly deserve its place in pop culture lore. But there should be a place for more mature re-tellings of the characters that defined so many 80s baby's childhoods. Can't the stories advance into present times without becoming so ridiculously out of touch with the source material? Yes the characters were created to sell toys, but it's still real to me dammit!
For now we are stuck with the great, but too short, Adult Swim cartoon "G.I. Joe: Resolute." Alas.
4 comments:
I think the movie did a perfectly fine job of portraying Destro. In fact it really makes absolutely no difference what the "real" story line is. With any fiction, every writer is free to make their own story, and it is best when they ignore the picky brats like you to do it.
Good point.
Every writer IS free to make their own story. Which is why every writer is free to create their own universe, their own franchise. When you play on another's playground, it's courteous and professional to respect the established "rules" of that playground.
If you can't -- or won't -- then keep your own ball on your own court.
I Agree with your character study , Destro was one of the deepest figures in the original Comic series and helped give dimensions to the on going stories . As for the anonymous post Cannon is very important in an ongoing franchise There is a reason Dro who is the longest going franchise in history . Consistency in storylines is what keeps old fans and develops new fans it allows newer fans to move in see there is an established universe and immerse themselves in it .
Most people dont realize that even the old twilight zone episodes and the outer limits episodes follwed a sort of continuity and there would be consistency in the back stories . Without such consistency you just create a loose hodge podge of images and ideas that will never capture a fans heart .
Once again I loved your article
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