Liberal Arts: The Movie

FADE IN: 

INT. COLLEGE HALLWAY - DAY

A young, eager STUDENT waits patiently outside an office door.  He’s a freshly scrubbed Freshman, dressed nicely in khakis and a white golf shirt.  He carries three books under his arms and a pen behind his ear.  He knocks on the door.

A wild-haired, bespectacled PROFESSOR swings the door open.  He’s in his late 40s with a sleepy look in his eyes.  He’s dressed much worse than the Freshman, wearing ripped jeans and a T-shirt.

PROFESSOR

What?

STUDENT

Hello, Professor Bybee.  My name is Seth, I’m in your Thursday class.  Do you have office hours right now?

PROFESSOR BYBEE

Yes, yes.  Come in.

Seth enters Bybee’s office, it’s cluttered in a maniacally genius way.  Some serious thinking goes on here.  There is a copy of Penthouse mixed in with academic journals and The Economist on Bybee’s desk.  A large Indian drapery covers the office windows, letting in a small amount of orangeish natural light.  Bybee takes a seat in a well-worn fabric chair and motions Seth to sit.

SETH

Professor, I’m having a hard time with this class.

PROFESSOR BYBEE
What’s the problem?

SETH
I... well... what’s this class about anyway?

Bybee removes his glasses.

PROFESSOR BYBEE

It’s about the hegemonic influences of western culture on the Third World.  It’s about neo-classical feminism versus post-modern feminism.  We’re talking values versus culture vis a vis politics, language and class.  It’s the digital economy versus the global capitalist economy.  It’s about finding political consciousness in an increasingly unconscionable world.  It’s the cheese-eating bourgeosie and the pseudo-choices of the American public.  Finally, it’s about the military industrial complex and the fascist vegetarian agenda.  Does that answer your question?

SETH

I think... so?

PROFESSOR BYBEE

Good.  Now I have a question for you.

Bybee puts his glasses on and leans forward.

PROFESSOR BYBEE

Where can I score some primo weed?

FADE TO BLACK.