Pretty Good Idea™ , vol. 2

People are all about branding these days.  People are also all about drinking.  When I was in college, people used to have "Thirsty Thursdays."  Now people also have something called "Sunday Funday," a name that is ridiculously stupid.   We can do better.

Now, I stupidly didn't drink in college, a choice I regret to this day (my priorities were out of whack back then).  So my gift to the drinking community is branding ideas for every single day of the week.  If you are a bar owner, alcohol distributor, or even a young kid looking for a reason to "party" then this is for you. 

Who's got two thumbs and loves King Cobra?  This guy!

Monday Night Raw Diet - Everyone hates Mondays, especially when football is out of season.  But you know what is never out of season?  WWE's Monday Night Raw!  It's a perfect accompaniment to drinking, because you have to be buzzed to ignore the fact that you are watching two sweaty, juiced up gargantuans grappling each other in their nether regions while wearing very little spandex.  The raw diet doesn't really let you drink, so I'll allow organic beer or spirits.  Close enough.

Tattoo Tuesdays - Combo night for bar owners and tattoo artists.  I'm assuming a large majority of tattoos happen when people are drunk.  Why not have the tattoo artists come into the bar so drunks don't have to walk around to find them?  I'm sure the tattoo artist would make a killing too.  Don't forget to tip your bartender and tattooist separately. 

Regrets, I've had a few.  But this isn't one of them.

Wanker Wednesdays - No, it's not what you think.  Or maybe it is, I don't know.  Derived from one of my favorite British words, this day everyone pretends to be British.  You must drink English beer or spirits and speak in your best cockney accent.  Don't break character, you wankers.

Touchy Feely Thursdays -This is the day to let loose and really tell people you love them.  Nothing breaks down your inhibitions like alcohol, and it makes it okay to tell your boy, "Man, I just want to say, I love you... no really, I love you man."  The best part is that if it gets weird, blame the alcohol.

Four Loko Fridays - It's the end of the work week, and it's time to get fucking messed up!!!  I know that the FDA cracked down on the caffeine content, but many enterprising entrepreneurs stocked up.  You can find it still on eBay.  You can also substitute red bull and vodka, I guess.  If you're a pansy!

Saturday Night Special - Carry a concealed beverage in a holster under your jacket.  Shotgun a beer.  Shoot empty beer bottles with a BB gun.  Whatever you do, make sure it's gun related.  The Second Amendment and the 21st Amendment both make America great.  Disclaimer: Safety first of course.  Or whatevs.

Sin-day - Sneak a flask into church.