The only thing that separates an adult baby and a nerdy man-child living at home is this: An adult baby will open his action figure packages to play with them; a man-child won't, lest the figures lose their resale value. Other than that small difference, the similarities abound. Playing with toys, having someone cook and clean for you, living without a care in the world. It's all part of the adult baby fantasy lifestyle. Finally an alternative lifestyle I can get behind. Just kidding... I think.
National Geographic Channel's Taboo series recently aired an episode called "Fantasy Lives" and featured the story of 29-year-old adult baby Stanley Thornton. It got a lot of publicity thanks to a four minute clip NGC put out hyping the episode. The clip was so compelling, I had to watch the full segment and write a running diary. Here it is. (For the full episode, you'll have to do some digging on the Web.)
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01:44 - We're in Redding, California, a scenic city along Interstate-5 and home to the Shasta Dam. It's known as the "Second Sunniest City in the United Sta... DEAR GOD. What the... who the...
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| No bras were harmed in the making of this documentary. |
01:55 - Ok. Wow. I'm back. I just had to defiberlate... defrillberlate... defibrillate myself. Ok. This is Stanley's caretaker/mommy Sandra Diaz (no real relation). I mean, wow. Starting off strong Taboo, very strong.
2:00 - Sandra wakes Stanley up from a nap. He's sleeping in a man-sized crib with a teddy bear. "Being an adult baby, I've had a couple different reactions, some good, some not so good. I know some people that are perfectly fine with it, and I've had others that are just angry like they think it's an automatic that you're a pedophile because you're into it," Stanley says in an interview. Wait, so you tell people you are an adult baby??? How does that come up in conversation?
Bob: Hi Mr. Thornton, I'm you're new neighbor.
Stanley: Nice to meet you.
Bob: Wanna grab a beer sometime, shoot the shit?
Stanely: I don't drink.
Bob: Well, that's okay. Hey, you play golf at all? Maybe we can hit up a driving range on the weekend?
Stanley: I poop in diapers.
Bob: (stunned silence)
And frankly, yes pedophilia is the first thing I think of in this situation. There is no good reason why adults should spend any time around children unless they are a parent, are with the kid's parents, or are the kid's teacher or licensed daycare worker. In this horrible age we live in, you can't take any chances. So when an adult man that is somewhat creepy looking tells me he wants to be a baby, alarms go off.
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| I admit it looks relaxing... |
3:12 - Sandra is a registered nurse and plays the role of Stanley's mom. She tells the camera, "I love him like he's my favorite nephew, he's like my family member who lost his mother and it's like I'm the aunt stepping in saying it's okay, I'm still here for you."
Favorite nephew? If I'm going to wipe a grown man's fanny and bottle feed him, I damn well better feel closer to him than a nephew! Step-mother or something, come on.
3:36 - Stanley's home looks like a total baby hazard. There's a shot of him playing with Legos on the floor next to a fire extinguisher on the ground, loose electrical wires hanging from the walls, and sharp objects within reach. To really role play a baby, shouldn't Stanley be putting his finger into sockets and what not? Or at least baby-proof your home to give it a true sense of living with/like a child! Immersion!
3:50 - The voice over tells us Stanley lives in a fantasy world (no shit) where a grown man plays with Legos, sucks on a pacifier, is spoon fed, uses baby talk, and even wears a diaper. Back to my previous point, Stanley only role plays the good parts of being a baby (playing, pooping wherever you want) and none of its dangers. Also I believe he is mixing age groups here. Legos and army men are too small for a 2 year old to play with, to really role play this scenario he should be swallowing these tiny items.
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| Take that pacifier out of your mouth and put in one of those army men! |
4:00 - A clinical psychologist comes on to tell us that "cultural norms" imply we are first babies and then grow up into adults, but if someone does this backwards it makes the public feel uncomfortable and threatened. Well, normal human growth isn't a cultural norm is it? Isn't it biological? Babies act like babies because they don't have full brain function or cognitive abilities. 29-year-old adults should crave more advanced stimulation, such as gambling, strip clubs, and Angry Birds.
4:30 - The voice over tells us that Stanley switches to adult mode when he leaves the house to "avoid public shame." Well, if he wanted to avoid public shame, maybe he shouldn't have left the house in black Dearfoam slippers, white socks and what appears to be a giant muumuu.
Stanley is at Lowe's to pick up supplies for his next project - a supersized high chair. This scene is a great endorsement for Lowe's. Lowe's – the home improvement store that doesn't judge!
5:20 - Stanley says he's been working on the plans for the high chair for a year and a half. He's already constructed a man-sized crib, which he loves because "there's nothing like waking up in a crib." No there really isn't. For a 2-year-old. You know what else there is nothing like? Waking up next to a woman in the morning after making love.
5:45 - Stanley's condition is called "infantilism," which he admits is a conscious choice. He also admits that for some, it's a sexual fetish (surprise, surprise). However, Stanley isn't into kink, he does it to relax and as a form of therapy. I did research into infantilism and some experts speculate that the causes are rooted deep in the stresses of a child's toilet training.
Basically kids need to be cheered when they poop on a toilet, or you are going to scar them for fucking life.
7:00 - Here's where things get serious. Stanley's stress stems from an abusive home while growing up. His therapist says he has led a traumatic life filled with abandonment. He role plays living a different life as a different kid. This is a heart-wrenching moment made slightly ridiculous by the producer's choice to play overwrought piano music over a shot of Stanley swinging alone in a park. It's a distractingly heavy-handed shot and obviously staged. I cringed at this segment. It should have been played differently.
9:30 - On to happier times. Stanley role plays a baby during every meal. He even eats baby food! This can't taste good, can it? I just looked on Gerber's website at some of their puree baby food flavors. There's Macaroni & Cheese with Vegetables, Turkey & Gravy, and Sweet Potato & Corn. Not one of those meals do I want pureed and spoon fed to me as an adult.
But... I will say that it is definitely fun to pretend an airplane of food is flying into your mouth hangar. In fact, I even jokingly do this when I try to get my picky-eating girlfriend to try a new food. "Who wants broccoli? Here comes the broccoli plane in for a landing! I sure hope the hangar doors open in time!" Usually the plane ends up crashing into her lips, but it's still fun.
4:30 - The voice over tells us that Stanley switches to adult mode when he leaves the house to "avoid public shame." Well, if he wanted to avoid public shame, maybe he shouldn't have left the house in black Dearfoam slippers, white socks and what appears to be a giant muumuu.
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| My PJs were in the dryer. |
Stanley is at Lowe's to pick up supplies for his next project - a supersized high chair. This scene is a great endorsement for Lowe's. Lowe's – the home improvement store that doesn't judge!
5:20 - Stanley says he's been working on the plans for the high chair for a year and a half. He's already constructed a man-sized crib, which he loves because "there's nothing like waking up in a crib." No there really isn't. For a 2-year-old. You know what else there is nothing like? Waking up next to a woman in the morning after making love.
5:45 - Stanley's condition is called "infantilism," which he admits is a conscious choice. He also admits that for some, it's a sexual fetish (surprise, surprise). However, Stanley isn't into kink, he does it to relax and as a form of therapy. I did research into infantilism and some experts speculate that the causes are rooted deep in the stresses of a child's toilet training.
Basically kids need to be cheered when they poop on a toilet, or you are going to scar them for fucking life.
7:00 - Here's where things get serious. Stanley's stress stems from an abusive home while growing up. His therapist says he has led a traumatic life filled with abandonment. He role plays living a different life as a different kid. This is a heart-wrenching moment made slightly ridiculous by the producer's choice to play overwrought piano music over a shot of Stanley swinging alone in a park. It's a distractingly heavy-handed shot and obviously staged. I cringed at this segment. It should have been played differently.
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| Fat guy on a little swing. |
9:30 - On to happier times. Stanley role plays a baby during every meal. He even eats baby food! This can't taste good, can it? I just looked on Gerber's website at some of their puree baby food flavors. There's Macaroni & Cheese with Vegetables, Turkey & Gravy, and Sweet Potato & Corn. Not one of those meals do I want pureed and spoon fed to me as an adult.
But... I will say that it is definitely fun to pretend an airplane of food is flying into your mouth hangar. In fact, I even jokingly do this when I try to get my picky-eating girlfriend to try a new food. "Who wants broccoli? Here comes the broccoli plane in for a landing! I sure hope the hangar doors open in time!" Usually the plane ends up crashing into her lips, but it's still fun.
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| Who likes bananas! Vroooom! |
10:23 - Stanley and Sandra receive disability checks and don't work. When Stanley's not role playing or shopping for lumber, he runs an adult baby website. They have 1,500 members and the youngest member is 9-years-old and the oldest is 92. Ok, I get the 92-year-old, but the 9-year-old? That kid is practically still a baby! He's just role playing himself!
11:15 - Stanley's high chair is complete and he settles into his first meal in it. It looks to be some sort of pasta dish. Sandra asks him if he "wants shaker cheese." Of course he wants shaker cheese. He's also eating with a fork. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I was eating Spaghetti-O's in my high chair back in the early 1980s, I would get in there with my hands and really make a mess. This is a very sanitized adult baby feeding.
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| Nom nom nom. |
2 comments:
The day you call and ask to borrow my truck to get some lumber is the day I call someone...I'm not sure who...but someone...maybe Sandra?
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